Skip to content

Happy Birthday

Ryan and I wanted to wish our angel a happy 4th birthday today.

(C) 2014 Followourfamily

world map hits counter
map counter

A saying to live by

I saw this online and thought it was so beautifully said I had to share.

20140426-164425.jpg

http://www.facebook.com/Followourfamilyblog

© 2014 David Z. Pfeffer

world map hits counter
map counter

Bring your child to work day 2014

How are you spending bring your child to work day? Did you bring your son/daughter with you? If so please comment and tell us about it.

http://www.facebook.com/Followourfamilyblog

© 2014 David Z. Pfeffer

world map hits counter
map counter

Thoughts and Reflections

After reading The First Day of School Post tonight I realized there are just some firsts that never get old. Such as the first day of school. Ryan and I have been through several first days of school now since that day occurred. It never stops amazing me how wondrous this day is through the eyes of the kids, and even more so through the eyes of the parents who are dropping their kids off. Every year in August we get to experience this again, with a new teacher, new lunch box and new first day of school outfit. I still wonder what the teacher will be like, even though it has been several years since I have been in school, and can’t wait to get home to hear about the new day that  began.

Some of these constants in life we take for granted, but sometimes we need to step back, and see things through the eyes of a child, and for a few brief moments we can experience things for the first time all over again.

http://www.facebook.com/Followourfamilyblog

© 2014 David Z. Pfeffer

world map hits counter
map counter

Happy Easter

Happy Easter from our family to yours may you have a blessed day full of life and memories to build with who you consider your family.
Dave and Ryan

<img title="free world map counter" src="http://24counter.com/map/view.php?type=180&id=1397303079″ border=”1″ alt=”world map hits counter” />
map counter

Catch up

I wanted to take the opportunity to thank anyone who is reading this post. It has been two years since I have posted anything. At this time I was hoping to have more posted. Unfortunately our foster agency around two years ago had asked us to slow down due to the sensitivity of the foster child we brought into our home.
I will be taking the next few blog entries to describe what happened between the time Ian went to his first day of school and now. The journey is not over, it is just beginning and about to get real in ways Ryan and I never thought possible.
Please share our story with anyone out there who may be interested. We are glad you are here with us for the ride of our lives.

world map hits counter
map counter

We’re Back

After an unforeseen break beyond our control, Ryan and I are glad to announce we are back. Please check in for our story as we look forward to having you on our journey.

The first day of school

The first day of school is possibly one of the most terrifying times I a kids life. Especially when a child has never been to school before. Now imagine an 11-month-old child who has just been removed from his parents, had an unstable life up till this point, and just got thrown into a new family.

This was the case for Ian. Four days into being our new family and it was his first day of school. We were lost on what to do where to go. His day care is the most amazing understanding place I have ever been. There were three teachers in his classroom. Ryan and I were probably more nervous than he was.

Ian went to the other kids with ease. As far as we know he had never been with kids in a day care setting. This day was a long one for us. At the end of the day I was ready to bite my nails in nerves on how he did. His teacher Miss. S. said he was a joy to have. There was no issue or problems. There were a million questions they had. They needed a pic of him to place up on the board in their room. (To this day our very first family picture is still there). We had to find out all the rules that pertained to him, as well as what the schedule they had for him at school.

Then Ian looked up and saw me. It was an unforgettable look. It was a look like we actually came back. His eyes spoke in a way that only a parent can understand. It said you cam back to get me. It can break a heart of anyone. But all parents who take their kids to day care for the first time understand this look.

That night he slept well. It was a tiring night for us all, between the stresses of not knowing how his day went, to all the supplies that had to be bought for school. Who would think that an 11 month old needs a list of supplies. It is not the same world it that it used to be when we were kids.

Back then my mother had the luxury of being home with us all the time. Today is a different world it takes at least two incomes to keep up with a middle class life. But in one week we would have met our new C.A. who was assigned to our case, as well as be in Massachusetts preparing to be married while friends would be in Florida taking care of Ian for us.

http://www.facebook.com/Followourfamilyblog

© 2012 David Z. Pfeffer

world map hits counter
map counter

The first visit. The reality of being a foster parent sets in.

Going back to Safe Place was not easy. We got there early, and at the advice of a good friend Kristina (who is a foster parent for 5 years who has had 9 foster children, with the honor of adopting 2) only one of us brought Ian into Safe Place.  I brought Ian in while Ryan waited patiently in the car. This was supposed to be a quick drop off. We were 20 minutes early for the visit.

No sooner did I walk into the lobby of Safe Place did a slender older woman greet me at the door.  She is fair skinned with long blonde hair. Upon first glance she did not look like anyone from South Florida. In a soft gentle voice I heard “IAN”.  Through my mind all I could think is  *&^%#$@!  I did not know what to do. Was this the woman who had lead this perfect little man to foster care?  She reached out to get him, and I clutched on to the little guy for dear life. No sooner when she tried to reach in to take him from me did the child advocate (child-net employee who acts as the child’s guardian while in foster care)  who was working that day come out from the back office and greeted me. He was a familiar face at a very frightening moment. This was the same man who had introduced Ryan and I to Ian several days earlier.  I got ushered to the back where  his office was as  the lady was told in a firm voice to wait in the lobby.

To this day I thank him for that few moments to gather my thoughts. I had a lot of questions about what do I do, what will happen during visit, etc. It was all very confusing. I did not know what to do, where to turn or what was going on at this point.  I felt as if I had no control of my own life. The child advocate knowing that Ian was our first placement allayed my fears of what was going to happen. No matter how many times Tiffani had prepared us for family interaction in MAPP class I was not prepared for the reality. Kristina the day before said it was like a feeling you can’t explain unless you are living it.  To me it felt as if my heart was being ripped right out of my chest, and my whole body was like one sore nerve.  Through out all this I was clutching on to Ian for dear life.  The child advocate assured me that we can wait to start the visit until I was calm, and ready to go back out there.  I knew I had to be brave. I was a father now, and could not let my fears get in the way of my responsibilities.  First and foremost Ian deserved to see his family.  The child advocate walked me outside to the lobby, to ensure that I was ok. He held on to Ian for me as I gave my little guy a kiss on his check.  This was to be the longest hour of our lives.

I returned to the car and Ryan was calm and collected or so I thought. Later on that day after we got home he admitted that it was tearing him up inside. Sometimes this what I need is a rock of Gibraltar. This was one of those times.  I am one of those who wears my heart on my sleeve. Ryan is not.

Finding an hour to kill, seemed like an impossible task. Every minute seemed like an hour. We finally got back to safe place a few minutes after the hour was up. Expecting to see the one person who I wanted to hold more than anything in the world, I got greeted by the child advocate who was supervising the visit.  I was informed that the lady who was visiting with Ian was his grandmother, from the Midwest. Now that Ian was in foster care, and she lived out of state getting her grandson was a more complicated task. In the back of my mind I was hoping that she would see him, and not even try.
Yes I know this was a very selfish thought in my mind, but I was not in the most clear headed space at this point.  The visit with his grandmother lasted an hour and a half.  She was leaving back for home to start the process to bring him back, and this would be the last time she would see him for months. Looking back I cant blame her for wanting to spend as much time with him as possible, I would too.

The rest of the weekend was spent preparing for our up coming wedding in Cohasset Massachusetts, two weeks later and most importantly Ian’s fist day of school on Monday.

http://www.facebook.com/Followourfamilyblog

© 2012 David Z. Pfeffer

world map hits counter
map counter

Henryville, IN

We wanted to take a moment to express how our thoughts, and prayers are with those families who were affected in the recent tornadoes in Indiana.  

%d bloggers like this: